The Sovereign Drop 005 - On Listening

Never interrupt anyone ever again.

Not your spouse.

Not your kids.

Not your team.

Not the waiter, the intern, or the Uber driver.

Now, I know the reason you interrupt isn’t because you’re rude — I’m going to guess it’s because you think you already know where they’re going. You think you’ve heard enough to get the gist, formulate an answer, and deliver the solution. 

If you’re going to grow to the level of elite you say you want — you can’t think like that anymore, and you definitely can’t listen like that.

True listening isn’t waiting for your turn to talk. (Really important point.)

It’s holding space for someone to arrive at what they mean.

Not what they start saying —

but what they finally want to say.

Because most people don’t lead with the exact thing they mean to say.

They circle it, talk around it, and suss out the safety of their environment while they’re putting words into the world.

Then, only when they feel safe enough, not rushed or managed, does the real thing finally come out.

Their exact truth often arrives in the final sentence. 

The cost to hear it?

Your...

Silence.

Patience.

Restraint.

Pride.

Listening is not passive.

It is deliberate, disciplined, and deeply masculine. 

And listening requires some of the deepest humility.

A woman’s note: 

When your wife talks to you, she is rarely asking you to fix anything. (Disappointing, I know.) She is asking to be held.

Not physically, but emotionally.

She is asking:

“Can I open fully here in this moment and in this conversation without being shut down, corrected, or edited?”

She doesn’t want faster solutions. 

She wants more safety.

Most often, she will talk her way into clarity — if you give her what she needs to find it. 

She doesn’t need you to finish her sentences.

She needs you to hold your tongue while she finds her own.

Question:

When was the last time you listened all the way to the end — without preparing your response?

Integration:

This week, do not interrupt anyone you love. Not even once. (And if you really want to raise the bar, don’t interrupt any human this week... or ever again.) 

Let people finish. Fully.

Catch yourself right at the moment you want to jump in — and don’t.

Hold your tongue.

Maintain eye contact.

Take a deep breath.

Absorb their words — and more importantly, their meaning.

When they pause — don’t fill it.

When they wander — let them.

When you know the answer — wait for them to know it too.

Don’t finish their sentence.

Don’t speed their story.

Don’t coach their feelings.

Just. Stay. Present.

You’ll learn more about them —and a lot about yourself too.

Benediction:

Listening isn’t weakness.

It’s mastery of ego and presence.

I believe in what you are becoming.

— Amy